mints
n. pl. Conditions of ransom that have not been met, but that kidnappers do not really care about, i.e. fancy monogramming upon the briefcase that holds the ransom cash.
[proof image]
If you've tried to post a comment on a Blogger's blog, you've likely run into Word Verification, that random string of letters that you must type in order for your comment to go through. Sometimes we've seen that "word" and made up a funny definition for it. This is a lexicon of those definitions.
n. pl. Conditions of ransom that have not been met, but that kidnappers do not really care about, i.e. fancy monogramming upon the briefcase that holds the ransom cash.
I think that Blogger has changed the word verifications to look more word-like. I don't know if it helps or hurts us here. Just a few minutes ago, I got snott. I mean, that's practically a real word itself. The other day I saw scarredd. They just added an extra letter to scarred. Where's the fun in that? Well, maybe we can take it to another level. Maybe, if the captcha already closely resembles another word, we can make up a new definition that is completely different. Kind of like looking at an iron and saying, what if that was a telephone?
n. The exclamation of excitement felt upon one's encountering the massive One Million Masterpiece art project.
n. One who can tell you every program that has ever aired on television station KPDX in Portland, Oregon.
(n.) The actual name for the little tab of cartilage over your ear canal. Also any other part of the ear you can't quite remember the name to.
n. A creature Captain Kirk fought in an episode of the original series. Probably.
n. A culinary creation from Europe that seems German and that all your friends say you'll absolutely love once you acquire a taste for it.
n. Any noun used to describe a common, mundane, and rather boring object that suggests it is a great deal sexier, naughtier, or more sordid than it actually is. Good for making elementary school students snicker; a licjiew uttered at Robert Frost Elementary School in Silverton, Oregon in 1972 resulted in the mass incapacitation of the entire fifth-grade class for about three hours on a Tuesday in March.
[whatchoo talkin' bout, Willis?]
Powered by Qumana
n. the belch that you try to stifle that manages, after a protracted internal peristaltic batttle, to become a three-hour hiccupping session. Studies[1] have shown that call center employees are particularly susceptible to this ailment, and being scheduled for an important, career-making speech automatically puts one into this high-risk group.
vt. The act of stifling such a belch; "What was that sound Joe made?" "That was him xurhping."
---
[1] "Studies People Refer To When They Refer to 'Studies'", Journal of What "They" Say, VI/7, Sept 2006, pp 22-112.
Powered by Qumana
vt. Of a person being pursued on the ground by police, act of executing some evasive maneuver they saw on television (e.g., calling "serpentine!" and then beginning to zigzag) to avoid being captured, only performing it so ineptly they all but ensure they will be caught.
[bad boys, bad boys, watchagonnado?]
Powered by Qumana
n, adj. A misplaced fear a crossdresser might have, e.g., worrying that their high-heels might not be appropriate for the dress when in fact the real problem was that they forgot their wig.
Powered by Qumana
n. A specialized computer keyboard for power users which has certian well-used, repetitive and somewhat hard-to-type 'net slang, Homestar Runner cant, and LOLspeak programmed onto individual keys, thereby enabling the haxxor to waste time with an efficiency never before seen.
"You wouldn't have so much trouble typing Fhqwhgads if you'd just dajkbd it!"
v. to yank on a loose part of a mission-critical machine in such a way that it will then seem to work flawlessly until needed again, at which point it has been rendered absolutely broken and worthless.
n. The new superstate created by the union of Iowa, Louisiana, and Idaho ... much to the dismay of the people of Wyoming, Nebraska, Missouri, and Arkansas.
n. A particularly phlegm-oriented branch of the nomadic Touraeg of Saharan Africa.
n. Franz Kafka's illiterate, unsuccessful younger brother, who authored the not-so-well known worst-seller, The Metofmrphasis, about a man who turns into a caterpillar and then a butterfly.
[Now, let's check the traffic]
n. What they call the Epilady in Albania. Probably. For all we know. Cannot be pronounced by anybody not otherwise Albanian.
Hey, you ever looked at Albanian? It's got more gratuitous umlauts than all the metal bands put together! You know what the word "Albania" is in Albanian? Shqipëri! Can you pronounce that (provided you aren't Albanian)? Neither can we!
Dislclaimer: No Albanians were epilated during the production of this entry. No Albanian feelings were intentionally hurt by poking fun at the language (we keed!)