Wednesday, April 23, 2008


n. the belch that you try to stifle that manages, after a protracted internal peristaltic batttle, to become a three-hour hiccupping session. Studies[1] have shown that call center employees are particularly susceptible to this ailment, and being scheduled for an important, career-making speech automatically puts one into this high-risk group.

vt. The act of stifling such a belch; "What was that sound Joe made?" "That was him xurhping."

[you're excused!]


[1] "Studies People Refer To When They Refer to 'Studies'", Journal of What "They" Say, VI/7, Sept 2006, pp 22-112.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008


vt. Of a person being pursued on the ground by police, act of executing some evasive maneuver they saw on television (e.g., calling "serpentine!" and then beginning to zigzag) to avoid being captured, only performing it so ineptly they all but ensure they will be caught.

[bad boys, bad boys, watchagonnado?]

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n, adj. A misplaced fear a crossdresser might have, e.g., worrying that their high-heels might not be appropriate for the dress when in fact the real problem was that they forgot their wig.

[miss thang!]

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008


n. A specialized computer keyboard for power users which has certian well-used, repetitive and somewhat hard-to-type 'net slang, Homestar Runner cant, and LOLspeak programmed onto individual keys, thereby enabling the haxxor to waste time with an efficiency never before seen.

vt. To use such a keyboard:

"You wouldn't have so much trouble typing Fhqwhgads if you'd just dajkbd it!"


v. to yank on a loose part of a mission-critical machine in such a way that it will then seem to work flawlessly until needed again, at which point it has been rendered absolutely broken and worthless.

[next time call a repairman]

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


n. The new superstate created by the union of Iowa, Louisiana, and Idaho ... much to the dismay of the people of Wyoming, Nebraska, Missouri, and Arkansas.

[never got this in your geography class, I'll betcha]

Monday, April 14, 2008


n. A particularly phlegm-oriented branch of the nomadic Touraeg of Saharan Africa.

['scuse me a sec ... aaahHEM!]

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


n. The nickname of the mascot for Cyrano de Bergerac State University.
Go Boogys!

[proof image]


n. Franz Kafka's illiterate, unsuccessful younger brother, who authored the not-so-well known worst-seller, The Metofmrphasis, about a man who turns into a caterpillar and then a butterfly.

[proof image]